Fic: Fallen (22/29)

Fallen
by Erin Griffin
Fandom: Murder In Suburbia/Imagine Me And You crossover
Pairing: Ash/Scribbs, Rachel/Lucy
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: ITV owns these characters.
Summary: When Ash falls and hits her head one rainy afternoon, she wakes up without her recent memory. What she does remember leads her to believe she is married to Scribbs, so to help her get better, Scribbs has to care for Ash as her wife, which leads to many new revelations about her partner... and herself.
Warning: This story has heavy angst, mentions of murder (duh), rape, and other unpleasant things, which is why it will only be mentioned. There is also hurt/comfort, something I don't do that much if ever in fic, so we'll see how it all works out.



*I'm hoping that posting this would make me want to get off of my lazy butt and finish typing up 23-25 so I can get it to my kick ass beta. Like the last chapter, my computer was freaking out on me so all mistakes are solely my own.*

Chapter 22


Already, Scribbs didn't like the silence between them in the car. Of course, this wasn't the first silence- or even awkward silence they'd been in together, but usually the tension was broken by a conversation about work or men, or if they felt they must remain in silence, it was usually comfortable. Scribbs knew and understood that anything she said wouldn't have made things better, especially since all she wanted to do was talk about that morning, something they didn't have enough time to do, anyway. Even if they weren't running late, her ability to speak left much to be desired.

Scribbs wasn't sure what would happen between them now. She knew that she had no choice but to give Ash space for the day, to let her choose the relationship's fate for them if she hadn't already. She knew that no matter what Ash chose for them, nothing will be the same. Both relationships had the ability to become a lot stronger or crumble entirely. Knowing the things that had hurt Ash would make them closer as friends, even though Scribbs knew it would be hard to go back to being 'just friends'. She'd do it if that was what Ash wanted. As a married couple, that bond would be closer now that everything was out in the open. If their relationships crumbled, Scribbs knew that it would be due to the fact that either one of them- most likely Ash- would always wonder what other secrets were held, what lies were told. And if Ash chose that she wanted nothing more to do with Scriobbs at all...

Looking to her left for a split second, Scribbs began, "Ash, I-"

"Pull over," Ash cut in suddenly. Up until that point, she had been staring out the window, but judging by the lack of eye contact and head movement, she wasn't seeing any of the scenery. The fact that she only spoke right then, when Scribbs had, took the blonde by surprise, especially since Ash had her hand now on the door handle as she looked ahead of them at the road.

"What?" Scribbs failed to hide her surprise, and she also looked ahead of them for a second to see if there was an emergency. She pulled over to the nearest spot she could even as she asked this. Ash opened the door before the car could come to a complete stop. Under other circumstances, Scribbs would have reminded Ash of her own rules about moving vehicles. "Wait a minute! We're over a mile away and running late as it is!"

"I could do with a the walk. Sullivan'll understand," the brunette replied briskly. Scribbs became concerned, as it was Ash's need for walks that started this whole thing.

"Its really no problem. You can take a walk at lunch, can't you?" This got no reply. "Kate!" she called with some protest in her voice.

At this, the DI leaned back down and held Scribbs' gaze through the slightly opened door. This was the first time she saw into Ash's eyes since she knew the truth about their relationship. "Don't," she said. "Please." There was a moment of silence as Scribbs was rendered speechless yet again. Ash broke eye contact first and went to get her suitcase. She let it roll behind her as she closed both the back and passenger side doors.

Scribbs fought against the sting in her eyes as she watched Ash walk away, the wheels of the suitcase making its gritty sound on the pavement as it trailed after her. 'Honestly, is being in the car with me THAT bad?' Scribbs wondered. She felt the lingering surprise mix with the ever present hurt as Ash finally turned a corner, and she realized that Ash was walking towards the school. 'Perhaps she'll see H there today,' Scibbs' thoughts went on. 'If nothing else, she'll get a little joy from seeing her.' Finally, Scribbs let out a quivered sigh as she tried to get control of her emotions. Slowly, she got the car back on the street and manuevered her way into work.




With each breath Ash sucked in as she walked, she felt the moisture in the air and saw the mist coming from her mouth and nose. It seemed all she could see or do was force her feet to move at the same time she forced her thoughts away. Everytime she tried, the same thoughts rushed to the surface: 'She lied to me. We're not really married. She can't really love me.' She looked ahead of her and realized where she was going. She saw that she was closer to Britania Park, where they'd had the picnic with her brother. Ash wished that she'd taken a different way, but knew that had she stayed on that main street, Scribbs would have tried to stop her again. Her steps faultered only slightly when she saw the tree that she and Scribbs had sat under while David had gone mad with the camera. Then, remembering that she was running late as it was, she forced one foot in front of the other again.

She heard the sound of a car on the street behind her about a minute later, but when it didn't pass her as she expected it to, she ignored it, thinking that Scribbs had followed her after all. She was surprised when she glanced back to see that it was Sullivan instead. The broad man waved to her, then checked his mirrors. When he saw no one behind him, he slowed further to the brunette's walking pace. "Fancy a lift?" he asked. Ash stared for a second beofre she nodded. She was running late, after all. It wouldn't look as badly on her if she were to arrive late with Sullivan. Well, considering the fact that everyone seemed to know about her so called relationship with Scribbs by then, maybe it would look bad on her for not walking in with her partner like she had before. She felt that it was a small issue. Ash waited for Sullivan to stop completely before she got inside, twisting her body to place her suitcase into the back.

Unlike the car ride with Scribbs, being with Sullivan, Ash felt calmer, at least until he cleared his throat nervously and asked, "So uh, is everything alright between you and-"

"And my false wife?" Ash cut in. She tried for anger, but found she couldn't do it. She looked over at her boss and friend to find his jaw working. There was a look on his face that Ash easily interpreted as guilt. He turned his head quickly to meet her eye before looking back at the road. Ash also looked at the road ahead of them. "Did you help her lie to me?"

Sullivan's eyes flickered to the left before going to the steering wheel. "Her best friend woke up after a four day coma and the first thing she says is that she won't speak to anyone but her wife. Up until that point, she had no clue that you were gay. When the only thing that seemed to make sense to you, Ash, was seeing her face, what else could she do? She went in to calm you down, and we hoped that once you spoke with Dr. Pellow, your memories would come back little by little... But it didn't.

"It was my idea to have Scribbs continue to play your wife when it looked like the memories weren't coming back right away. Er- After all, it'd by then already been said. She was opposed to deceiving you, but there seemed to be no other option. It was really only a choice of hurting you then, telling you the truth about Scribbs while you were still dealing with everyhting else, or wait until the memories came back and hope that it hurt less in the long run."

Ash was surprised to hear that it wasn't Scribb's idea to continue with the lie. In her mind, the brunette had been convinced that Scribbs had acted alone, which she knew was silly. It took a lot to fool someone like her the way they had, to play along with her delusions. Of course, Sullivan and even David helped her.

"I don't regret it," Sullivan said suddenly, and the strength and confidence of the statement made Ash look over at him with somewhat of a scowl on her face. This statement had cut into her personal debate on whether or not she should consider speaking with Scribbs. "It may not have been the way you both lived for the last seven years, but in that month you two were together, you healed from much more than that fall of yours. Those two things you kept so close to the vest were no longer keeping you down and I've never seen you happier. Those who matter now know that you're gay, and now that Scribbs knows about Toby, you've finally allowed yourself to grieve. You're freer now, Ash. She did more to help you in one month than I ever could've hoped to do for you in the entire time I've known you."

Ash's scowl was gone now. "I know you tried," she said.

"Yes."

"And I know you sent the flowers every year with the card, but I just couldn't-"

"I understand. I really do," Sullivan cut in gently. "I just wanted you to konw that I was there for you, that's all."

"Its ironic that even before my fall, I'd forgotten how good of friends we were."

"Well," Sullivan said slowly as he considered this, "as long as you remember now." If the broad man wasn't driving and if they weren't so close to work, Ash would have hugged him. It just seemed to be that sort of moment, and she really needed one.

"I want nothing more than to forget that I remember just so that I could go home to Scribbs-" 'Go home... to Scribbs.' The phrase never felt more right to Ash, but she forced it away in order to give herself the strength to finish the sentance. "-but I can't bind her to this... relationship when it began in the way it had."

Sullivan didn't know how to reply to this, so he said nothing and nodded, if only to aknowledge that the brunette had been heard. When he entered the carpark, he asked, "Do you need a ride later?"

"I've got to get a truck so I can begin moving my things out of Scribbs' flat... and vice versa."

"I've got a free day. I'll help you," the broad man said. His tone left no room for protest, so Ash didn't. She smiled weakly as the car stopped. She needed the help, and with Sullivan there, the task wouldn't seem so bad. The two friends got out and walked inside the CID. As Ash had predicted, she got questioning stares, some even flickering between her and Scribbs.

"Boss, I was told to let you know that- Ash." Scribbs stopped moving and talking once she saw the two of them together. She made a face that seemed to say 'Never mind', and went back to work. The two supervisors looked after her; both hadn't missed the hurt and jealousy that had crossed her face before she'd turned away.